


Oh Shit A Rat

by justatealduck



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Crack, Gen, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:21:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23203138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justatealduck/pseuds/justatealduck
Summary: The first ever pest is found in the Mindscape.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	Oh Shit A Rat

**Author's Note:**

> Basically, I needed an idea. My sister just replied "rat," so I obliged on this monstrosity.
> 
> Now in these trying times, I think we need a little shitpost to do us all good. Also, I needed a little procrastination to continue The Workings Of The Heart okayy.

For such messy people, the mindscape was (to be fair,) pretty clean.

The sides would always try to contribute to cleaning, whether it be taking out the garbage or doing the dishes (which would inevitably take place after immense amounts of arguing;) it was the best they could do to it after all. There were never any mystery stains, piles of junk that lasted for ages (unless important,) and certainly no animals or pests. 

That is, until a scream that rang from the kitchen woke every side up.

Roman was the first to march out, drawing his sword. "What in Indina Menzel's name is going on?"

He saw Patton crouched on the counter, like some sort of cat, with his eyes wide open in horror and shivering. "Roman, I...I need your help."

"What is-"

Patton waved his arms frantically, eyes showering the darkness. Until-

"THERE IT IS!" Patton screeched, pointing repeatedly at the corner of the kitchen, scrambling back on the counter and falling off.

Roman dashed for the idiot, lifting him up. "I don't see anythin-"

And then he saw it, eating a Graham cracker in the corner;

_A huge, motherfucking, rat._

He yelped, jumping in the air and instinctively swinging his sword infront of him. "SHIT!" The creative side yelled, Patton screaming behind him.

Immediately, more footsteps came from rushing down the stairs, and both Logan and Virgil had an incredibly moody look on their faces.

"What is going on down here!?" Logan demanded, hair unusually a mess and glassless, holding an empty jar of Crofters. If Logan came out of his room and wasn't looking as neat as a pin, you knew it he was either alarmed or furious.

"I'd like to know the same," snarled the angsty teen, giving the two a death stare.

Patton rushed towards them, "I was just making a midnight snack, until THAT just came out and startled the HECK out of me!" He frantically explained, waving his hands around like someone trying to swim for the first time.

"'That?'" the logical side questioned, slightly more awake now.

"It's probably a shadow or something," groaned Virgil, "Why don't we all just-"

 _"IT was there, Edward Cullen!"_ Roman hissed back, _"we BOTH saw it!"_

Virgil, slightly grimacing from the nickname, waved his hand around and said, "Okay, fine. Maybe you both aren't just idiots. But, pray tell, what is it?"

_"THE FUCKING RAT!"_

Patton screamed as the rodent leaped out from the corner and darted at the speed of light towards the nearest sofa. Roman drew out his sword and started charging. Virgil swore the whole Dictionary out.

Logan, being logic, was the only reasonable one here.

"Listen. It's underneath a sofa, how on Earth can you kill it with a sword? The best and most reasonable way to capture it is-"

"Let's try to poke it out!"

"NO! I'M NOT HAVING IT RUN AROUND THE HOUSE INFECTING EVERYTHING WITH _NASTY THINGS!"_

"Maybe it died of a heart attack or something.."

The rat came rushing out again, like a bolt of grey lightning, with Patton, Roman and Virgil being the thunder. Logan thought and ran quickly, slamming the empty jam jar on the carpet, trapping the rat inside.

Silence filled the room.

_"Is it...is it still moving?"_

_"I...I don't know. Should..I check?"_

All other three sides nodded in agreement, finally getting their heads together.

Logan mouthed down from ten. Roman drew his sword. Patton clung to Logan. Virgil circled the area, trying to calm down.

_Three.._

_Two…_

"FUCK I CAN'T DO THIS!"

All other sides glared at Patton.

_One…!_

Logan lifted the jam jar so quickly that it was a blur, wincing.

It wasn't moving.

"..Is it dead?"

Logan got up with a huff, "Yeah, it's-"

That rat washed it's face with it's paws and darted towards the bathroom. All sides simultaneously yelled and scrambled backwards as they saw the wingless pidgeon submurge into the darkness.

All sides looked at eachother.

"Should we call for help?"

…

"Yeah."

(After a few minutes, Dee and Remus pop up and immediately get rid of it. Remus tries to eat it.)


End file.
